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Birmingham NIA - Monster Jam UK Tour
20th August

"AUGH!" my Dad cried out as he tried to negotiate the Birmingham one-way system, struggling to get to the NIA Stadium. We finally got there, however, and walked around it looking for something to do. Finally, 2:00pm came, and the doors were opened. I wanted to cry out for forgetting my camera (sorry about that, guys!), but my voicebox held it in. A bulky security guard ripped our tickets up, and he let us in. We got into the actual show stadium, and there were lasers, coloured lights, and tunes like Livin' American by No Connection (good song that!). I thought "That music isn't coming from the stadium...", then I saw Escalade down there on the floor with it's spinners spinning and it's Neon Underglow glowing, and all the music was coming from it's subwoofers and hi-fis! Talking about subWOOFers, Monster Mutt was there, standing proudly on the floor. I tried to see what obstacles there were, but was nearly heartbroken to discover only TWO rows of cars. Ouch! Well, the NIA was pretty small. You could see the tire tracks on the smooth concrete floor from yesterday's show, and judging by the patterns it got me pretty excited. I wanted to go crazy because those trucks you see down on the floor, were exactly the same ones you saw on Channel 4 (hey, that rhymes!)! Except for Grave Digger. The Grave Digger was Grave Digger 15 piloted by Carl Van Horn, instead of Grave Digger 19 piloted by Dennis Anderson. Oh well, at least the biggest names in Monster Jam were there. The trucks were as follows:
Lupe Soza - El Toro Loco
Debra Miceli - Madusa
Chad Fortune - Superman
Bobby Z - Monster Mutt
George Balhan - Escalade
Carl Van Horn - Grave Digger 15
Suddenly, the crowd was rushed out and you could see all the drivers climb into their trucks, ready to start them. When the crowd was finally out and had their seats, Monster Jam Officials (just like you see on TV, complete with black & red shirts) tore off the flags surrounding the wheels and then the trucks started. Oh baby! Then they accelerated. Imagine turning your hi-fi up full volume with headphones on. It was 200 times LOUDER that that! Four trucks mounted the cars at each end, while Grave Digger and Madusa "kissed" their wheels together in the middle of the floor. Aww! Then there was a little jet-powered "Funny" car, driven by Tim Arfun, that did donuts all over the place. Then there was my favorite bit. The commentator (sadly not the threesome from the Channel 4 shows) walked out into the floor. Then El Toro Loco drove out and stopped. Lupe Soza jumped out from the cockpit and the commentator interviewed him. After telling us all about his truck, what they do in their spare time, etc. he came to the RII (Remote Ignition Interrupter). Lupe held out this funny little walkie talkie type thing with a huge red button on it, then an official got into El Toro Loco and drove around slowly. He then sped towards Lupe and the commentator! Lupe then pressed the big red button on the middle of the unit, and El Toro Loco came to a stop just before grinding them into the concrete. The raging bull's nose drooped down and then blasted the commentator in the face with his exhaust pipes (cleverly placed in the nostrils)! Everyone laughed, then Lupe took EL Toro Loco back into the pits. Then there was the wheelie competition! All the trucks pulled adequate wheelies, then Grave Digger took the lead. Then it was El Toro Loco's turn. He crawled towards the cars, the hammered it, sending the truck into a vertical wheelie with all four wheels about 15 feet above the cars! When he landed, the back of the body was torn off! Officials ran out and took it back to the pits. I think it was safe to say he won the wheelie competition! As they always say, Red Bull gives you wings! Racing finally came, and first it was Monster Mutt against Escalade. They sped off, and Monster Mutt hit a pole giving him a five second penalty. I don't remember who won the racing... but then it was the break. We went to the merchandise stand where I got a tiny little Grave Digger, then it was time to go back. They kicked off the show again with Freestyle Motocross, where nutters on motorbikes pulled off crazy stunts like HeartAttacks, Cordovas, and Heelkicks. Then there was the donut competition. I'm not sure, but I think Madusa won it after she did a really fast one that raged all across the stadium! A load of other cool Monster Truck inspired stuff, but then there was the final event of the day. Freestyle! It wasn't as exciting as the ones on telly, but only because there were only two rows of cars and they were crushed as hell. Anyway, El Toro Loco couldn't compete because fluid was leaking out of the back because he took a hard landing in Racing. Grave Digger was the overall winner of FS, probably because at one end of the floor, there was a particularly grippy section. He floored it from a standstill, the front wheels rose, and he walked a vertical wheelie all the way across the arena! Finally, the show was over. Every driver finished nicely by yelling "WE LOVE YOU ALL IN THE UK!" together into the mic! Aww... then they walked around waving to everybody. Lupe kept doing that weird thing with his thumb and his little finger. I secured eye contact with him and did it, then he smiled and did it back! After that was the autograph signing. We waited in line for half an hour, then we got to the table. None of them talked to me... except Lupe. Freindly as ever, he asked both of us "Did ya enjoy it?"
Dad replied "Did YOU enjoy it?" and then Lupe Soza looked at ME and said the same thing. Speechless, I nodded enthusiastically. I still couldn't believe it. This guy actually looked at me and talked to me! I almost melted. Talking about melty, cheesy chips down the pub on the way home!